I found it to be very interesting to read about how Zainab had grown up with Saddam as an "Uncle." That had to be terrifying experience, but at the same time glamorous experience with the new cars every year. It is very sad to know that her mother was trying to protect her from Saddam, to only have Zainab end up being put into a horrible situation for her supposed better life. It must have been so scary to come to a new country to marry a man that you do not even know, then to find out he is an abusive man, and having to deal with the terror of rape. I understand that arranged marriage is apart of some cultures, but I wonder how mothers and fathers can be so willing to have their child move away so far without know much about their new lives? What do you think?
Friday, November 8, 2013
Chapter 12
As I was reading chapter 12 and as I was amazed by the "Women for Women" organization. I am blown away at how a random person can start up an organization on their own and make a truly large impact, creating awareness, and helping the women financially. Also I was amazed by the paper recycling company that Zhang Yin made, to come from so little and make your self so successful has to be an amazing feeling. If you were to look at both of the situations abstractly, if would be hard to predict that the organizations/company would take off so rapidly and become successful. It makes me feel like I could and others could make a bigger difference then we think.
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I think you make some very good points. I think that the reason for why people aren’t involved as much and don’t do as much is because they think that they aren’t going to make a difference anyway. The realization that you really can make a difference is huge; all it takes is putting in the effort. I think your second point is also very interesting. The idea of arranged marriage never made any sense to me. I have no idea why it’s required in some cultures, or how like you said parents could just send their daughters off to somewhere they’ve never been with someone they don’t know. I think that these women should have a right to not want to go, and they should have a right to make a decision for themselves on what they want to do with their life.
ReplyDeleteI know that Zainab ended up in a bad situation with her first husband, but how bad would her situation have been with Saddam? This chapter made the mother seem like the bad guy until the very end and even then she was still in the wrong. I am a firm believer that people have to play the hand they have been dealt. I am not saying the mother was right or wrong , but I believe she did what she thought was best. At the time, that may have been the only good option. Because some of us are not mothers or are not is a similar situation we cannot know what we would do. No decision has a 100% success rate. There is always going to be something you missed out on or some draw back. This chapter causes us to judge the mother before we have all of the facts. We have already formed a negative opinion about her before we discover the true reason behind the arranger marriage. Judging is ingrained in our society and even though I know it is wrong I still find it difficult not to. I challenge you to truly look at someone and not judge them.
ReplyDeleteArranged marriages are one of many cultural traditions that differ from our American beliefs, and it can be difficult to find a way to help women in other countries without overstepping boundaries and insulting them in the process. While it may go against what we believe in, I think that we must try to think of a compromise for situations such as this one that will allow us to help women while still maintaining some of their traditions. For example, parents could be encouraged to thoroughly look into the background of potential husbands for their daughters and allow their daughters to meet potential suitors before agreeing to marriage. It all comes down to creative solutions and finding a way to help that does not come across as a threat to another's culture or lifestyle. If we start out with the goal of improving the lives of women in their current situation, we can work towards changing their reality.
ReplyDeleteOn the two points that you raised... First, I too was blown away by how something with such a grassroots beginning could bloom into something that has impacted the lives of so many women from so many corners of the world. Women for Women International is truly evidence that we CAN make a difference. It took one person to start this organization, someone to see a need, raise awareness and then take action by putting a plan into play. It reminded me of a verse from the book of James, "Faith without action is dead." It took a lot of faith and belief in oneself for Zainab Salbi to put her plan into action and believe that she, one person, was going to make an impact. I love that her organization allows for others to do the same; that is, allowing one person to make a difference.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I think it is easy to pass judgment on things that are unfamiliar to us. The idea of traveling around the world to marry someone you've never met may seem as irrational to us as dressing up as ghosts and goblins, begging for candy from strangers may seem to a Sudanese! It is all in the way you have been raised and for many girls, this is what they know and accept without question. I like Maggie's idea of creative solutions but even this can be problematic. Traditionalists often resist change. I think because women in these cultures often lack a high status, until males see this custom as a problem, the practice of arranged marriages will likely continue. I also think it's important to point out that we shouldn't jump to the conclusion that all arranged marriages are abusive. Zainab's story is just a small, small snapshot of the culture. I think that for some women an arranged marriage translates into security and a way to start a family, albeit in a less traditional (for us) way.
Micro financing is a great way for women that are in a state of poverty to slowly dig themselves out. Most women in situations like this are unaware of this being a possibility. You still must have a creative mind and a drive to succeed, not to mention an entrepreneur to assist. There still must be another way to break the cycle of oppression. The real issue is getting women to realize that there are people to help them through micro-financing, education & other large issues that most poverty stricken women face. As with most of the stories we have read in Half the Sky I’m shocked that things such as Zainab’s having to pay rent to her “uncle” with sex even happen. I’m hoping for some more success stories soon
ReplyDeleteI like how you said, "random person". Some people thing that it takes this superman or person that has powers that a human beings do not have. I feel my all have gifts and talents beyond what we believe. On a daily bases we as people have ideas about things that blows us away because we feel they are too big to obtain or they wouldn't work. Most of history's intrique entreprenuers or inventors have been 'random people', sure they had special gifts, but the the difference, I think, between them and other random people is they believed in their possibilities.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I understand the concept of the arranged marriages in some cultures, I believe that the tradition has run its course and should be done away with. Such a tradition takes women and objectifies them, instead of treating them like people and allowing them to make decisions for themselves. When we have been having such a push for equality of men and women throughout the world, how can we allow something like this to remain? These women dont get a choice of who they get to spend the rest of their lives with. Rather its decided often times by which prospective husband offers her parents the most money. This is completely unfair to them.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you when you say that we can make a bigger impact than we think. The examples and ways that these people from our text find to make money are so creative. I would never think to collect scrap pieces of paper and sell them to China! These are things that I'm not very aware of and don't think about from day to day. I think that they are great opportunities for women like Zhang Yin though. She had the experience in paper business and knew a lot about manufacturing and running a business like that, and I think that that is great. It's amazing how fast she became a billionaire, that's insane!
ReplyDeleteAs for Zainab, I do agree that it would be quite an experience knowing Sadam and living the good life of being friends with him (which could bring you much power) but also the risky life, because you never knew if he would turn on you. It's really very sad that her mom sent her to America to have a better life, and to protect her from Sadam, but in turn she had just as bad of an experience. Her mom was trying to do what was right for her, and give them all a better chance to life good healthy lifestyles. I was wondering though, if Sadam was so interested in her don't you think he would have sent out people to go and hunt her down in America and bring her back to him?
Anyways, I think it is great that she quickly got out of the abusive relationship with the American guys and able and willing to find a new guy interest. She married such a nice man, that supported what she believed in and what she wanted to do. They ended up helping a lot of people, and that's inspiring
Preston makes a valid point of the topic of arranged marriages. I believe this situation puts women behind in so many ways. Women are traditionally stay at home, deliver babies, and do household chores type of wives in arranged marriages. The women will be economically disadvantaged because they most likely having a child very young. Some arranged marriages could happen so young that the women don't get the same educational rights as men. It will always be a cultural debate, however I do think arranged marriages are an extreme disadvantage for women.
ReplyDeleteWhile working on our regional issues paper, I had ran into the website women for women, but did not browse it enough to see it relate to chapter 12 and read on how the website was formed by one person until you mentioned it. I obviously overlooked a very important organizational website. As much as I was shocked and disgusted to hear that her uncle would rape her, the statistics of rape victims is that 9 times out of 10 you know your raper. As much as it is to swallow that fact, and as much as I would like to think that it would make more sense for a stranger to rape you than family, statistically based this did make sense unfortunately. If only there was a way for victims of repeated rape to escape without the fear of being killed. This chapter did show though, that no matter where you live, bad things can occur in any region and not just region specific. Even though it may occur more in one region, many regions share the same problems such as rape and abuse.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read about Zhang Yin's recycling company, I was shocked to see that it's currently the biggest American exporter to China. Even more so when I read about how she used her knowledge of the demand for paper in China, and her knowledge from the paper trading business. Its remarkable that she chose to travel and start her own business in the United States when she could have risen in the company in China. Reading about how had to start everything from scratch because the only two people involved at the beginning of her business were her husband and herself was eye opening. She traveled from garbage dump to garbage dump to make deals with the owners to receive their scrap paper, in addition to finding a way to cheaply transport it back to China is something that I don't think I could have done. It's inspiring to see people working so hard to make a better life for others, while using the knowledge gained from other resources.
ReplyDeleteReading about people like Zhang Yin truly define the quote, "You can do anything if you put your mind to it." If we had more people in our society that had an incline of the same attitude as she did, our country/society would be so much different. As a future teacher, I hope to instill the ideas and positivity of setting your mind to something and going for it in hopes to change the students' lives in the future.
Arranged marriages are common in some cultures. As far as I know, it is necessary for some parents to arrange marriage of their children, because it's more like a trade. For instance, if I'm a daughter of a billionaire, and my dad needs me to marry a guy who can help him with his merchant issues, I would be willing to help. It's something about people's responsibility instead of people's rights.
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing reading these stories and situations and realizing we can make a difference that is actually noticeable. Arranged marriage is something that has always baffled me. After reading this and realizing that parents actually have no idea who the other person actually is is scary. My mom would never send me off to marry someone that not only I don't know, but she doesn't know as well. An interesting thing to think about with other cultures is that if they stopped the arranged marriages, could this rape and sex trafficking start to slow down. I wonder how many women are put into an arranged marriage and end up being trafficked. How scary!
ReplyDeleteI’ll agree that our book does provide much evidence to support the idea that arranged marriage can be a miserable convention. However, I believe there are many misconceptions about arranged marriage. In most arranged marriages, the parents seek the consent of their children before arranging a marriage. Keep in mind that arranged marriages can also mean the PARENTS decide, not the daughter OR the son. I just think this book offers a very narrow perspective on this topic. I feel like throughout this course, I’ve witnessed many opinions from classmates that do not consider the cultural values of these many countries that we study. These are values held by men and women alike!
ReplyDeleteAs horrible as some arranged marriages are, I can see why they happen in some countries, even today. Parents want their children to be able to have stable environments, and if they choose the spouse, they can ensure that will happen. Even though Zainab's mother ended up sending her to an abusive relationship with an older husband, she gave her a better chance at a life than if she had stayed where she was. I can guarantee that being one of Saddam's temporary mistresses would've ended a lot worse than her first marriage did. At least her mother knew that she would have the option of leaving her new husband. If she had stayed, she might not have been given that option at all.
ReplyDeleteLike every situation or issue, there is always two sides to every story and most of the time it is the negative side that gets shown. Yes, in your typical arranged marriage it is a degrading and unfair situation. But not every arranged marriage is like that. I think the book was being harrow about this topic because the book is telling us what situations and injustices are out there. if I were to guess, I would say most arranged marriages are not consulting the children's feelings, but like I said that is just a guess. Also, arranged marriage is only one of the many topics the book talks about, the book isn't about arranged marriages so why would they go into great depth about it, you know what I mean. The book is making us aware of things that go on everyday all around the world.
ReplyDelete